a screaming man

Victim-blaming refers to the practice of blaming the victim for some or even all of the fault in an assault or crime, assuming that the harm suffered must be due to the victim’s own fault. These comments often lead to feelings of self-blame and self-loathing on the part of the victim, who is already traumatised physically and emotionally.

Why do people condemn the victim?
The anxiety and fear that victims experienced can also be felt by the audience. When we feel unsafe in our own living environment and fear that we will experience the same thing as the victim, causing anxiety to climb. In order for us to recreate a sense of security, we are constantly looking for vulnerabilities in the victim’s existence. For example, if the victim is at fault, or if the victim is negligent, we use these comments to prove that we are different from the victim and to psychologically suggest that we are safe.

please stop the secondary victimization

Male and victim-blaming
One of the reasons why men who are victims of domestic abuse choose to remain silent is that what does speaking out change? Stereotypes make it impossible for the general public to understand male victims of domestic abuse and may even mock and taunt these men.

“How much can it hurt to be hit by a woman”
“Did you cheat on your wife?”
“It must be your own problem”
“You’re a loser”

These comments demonstrate the bystander mentality of everyone, the default assumption that men suffering domestic violence must be retaliated against by their wives because they have done something wrong. But is that true?

In the matter of domestic violence, there should not be a division between men and women, but between the abuser and the victim. When domestic violence occurs, the condemnation directed at the victim tends to hurt them twice, even to the point where they start to reflect whether it was really them who did not do good enough to get hurt. Thus allowing this crime to go further unnoticed.

If a man said he is suffering from domestic violence, then you should believe and support him. No gender is safe when it comes to domestic violence and it is not a laughing matter for men to be domestically abused.