By Spike Milligan...

‘Twas midnight in the schoolroom
And every desk was shut
When suddenly from the alphabet
Was heard a loud...

Said A to B, “I don't like C;
His manners are a lack.
For all I ever see of C
Is a semi-circular back!”

“I disagree,”
said D to B,
“I've never found C so.
From where I stand he seems to be An uncompleted O.”

C was vexed,
“I'm much perplexed”
“You criticise my shape.
I'm made like that, to help spell Cat and Cow and Cool and Cape.”

“He's right” said E;
said F,“Whoopee!”
Said G, “Ip, 'Ip, 'ooray!”

“You're dropping me,”
roared H to G. “Don't do it,
Please I pray.”

“Out of my way,”
LL said to K.
“I'll make poor I look ILL.”
To stop this stunt J stood in front, and presto! ILL was JILL.

“U know,” said V,
“That W is twice the age of me.
For as a Roman V is five
I'm half as young as he.”

X and Y yawned sleepily,
“Look at the time!” they said.“Let's all get off to beddy byes.”
They did, then...
“Z - Z - Z